It’s not just about the food. It’s not just about your body.

We are surrounded on all fronts by ideals of beauty, by standards for how we should look, how we should think, how we should talk. We are told implicitly and explicitly that these standards are facts, never to be challenged: “But of course skinny is best!”

These are rules made up by our culture and backed by powerful institutions.

Our surroundings are fertile ground for perfectionism, comparison, and inadequacy. In some way, shape, or form you are told that you are falling short. Maybe you are not pretty enough, or tall enough, or skinny enough, or successful enough professionally.

We are encouraged to be persistent, to not give up, and to go for the gold. We are led to believe that if we just try hard enough, then maybe we can get to that destination where life is just great and easy.

Sometimes, this is actually the case. Working hard and persisting often grants us significant benefits in life. However, other times our well-meaning, coveted values for hard work and relentless pursuit turn on us.

Perfectionism is a moving target.

I am not here to tell you what is okay to strive for and what is not okay to strive for. If you think a different looking body would bring more happiness to your life, I respect that. My job is to have conversations that help illuminate what you want, why you want it, and how we can help work towards your preferred life.

Struggling with eating and your body is something that I have personally experienced and something that has deeply affected the way that I work with clients. If you’d like to read my story, check out my blog post, “Four Lessons About Therapy My Eating Disorder Taught Me.”